How to Make a Record

First, cram Duke Ellington and his orchestra in a room. Next, get a bunch of big machines...

People Die For You!

More Monks clips are showing up on YouTube. Here's "Complication." Keep in mind that these guys who had been GIs are singing this around 1966-1967, before protest against the Vietnam War had become really widespread. Basically, it was Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and the Monks singing about war, but only one of those rocked.

Perez Prado

Desperate Assholes

This is getting Santorum all the attention, but Michigan's own Pete Hoekstra is a desperate asshole as well.

Olbermann: "Good Evening from New York. We have found Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. 15-year old Weapons of Mass Destruction that could give you the equivalent of a serious rug burn.

Our fifth story on the Countdown: Independent experts and the level-headed, staggering in amazement today, that deteriorated mustard gas canisters -- at least fifteen years old and as much as "eighteen" years old -- could be "palmed off" by desperate politicians as some kind of rationale for the deaths of 2500 American servicemen in Iraq.

Republican Senator, Rick Santorum, down 18 percent in the polls in his own re-election bid... "joined" by the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Representative Pete Hoekstra of Michigan... in pimping part of a two-month old military intelligence report describing the existence of old munitions shells with chemical weapons that are degraded, unusable, and non-threatening....

Cheny Has Been Using The Dark Side All Along

Watch "The Dark Side."

AT&T, Motherfuckers

We got off AT&T almost two years ago, got on SBC. SBC was bought by AT&T. NSA then bought a portion of AT&T. Now AT&T is doing a CYA.

AT&T has issued an updated privacy policy that takes effect Friday. The changes are significant because they appear to give the telecom giant more latitude when it comes to sharing customers' personal data with government officials.

The new policy says that AT&T -- not customers -- owns customers' confidential info and can use it "to protect its legitimate business interests, safeguard others, or respond to legal process."

The policy also indicates that AT&T will track the viewing habits of customers of its new video service -- something that cable and satellite providers are prohibited from doing.

Moreover, AT&T (formerly known as SBC) is requiring customers to agree to its updated privacy policy as a condition for service -- a new move that legal experts say will reduce customers' recourse for any future data sharing with government authorities or others.

Bongwater

With song-intro/freakout featuring Screamin' Jay Hawkins.

STUNT ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's A Death-Wish... At 120 Decibels!

Nailed!

Questions that Matter

...if you support "traditional" marriage. From here:

Is Senator Crapo in favor of traditional marriage?
Yes he is, he's a cosponsor of the bill.
He is? Can you tell me if he masturbates?
I could not tell you that.
Can you tell me, do you masturbate?
I cannot tell you that either.
Can you tell me, does he commit sodomy, analingus, cunnilingus or fellatio?
What is the purpose of this questioning?
It's regarding his views on traditional marriage.
Okay, he supports the bill.
Yes, but could you tell me does he commit sodomy?
I could not give you an answer on that.
Is he willing to pledge that he has not or will not commit sodomy?
I could not answer that.
Has he ever had sex before or outside of marriage?
Again, sir, what is the point of this questioning?
It's regarding traditional marriage and how far his support goes.
Any one of those questions I could not answer.
Have you ever had sex outside of marriage?
Again, I will not answer that.
It's nobody's business, right?
That's right.
Okay, thank you.

Masturbation Monday

A call to action calling for you to call your Senators -- if they support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage -- and ask them if they support masturbation, among other threats to traditional marriage.

MESSAGE: Hello, I'm calling to find out if the member of Congress supports traditional marriage? Can you tell me if he or she masturbates? Do you? What about sodomy, including analingus, cunnilingus and fellatio? Is the member willing to pledge that he/she has never, is not, and will never commit those acts? Has the member ever had sex before marriage? Have you? What about adultery and prostitution? Will they swear never to have been involved, and never to be involved, in either? Will the member promise never to divorce? And finally, if the member is married, do they have children, and if not, why not?

If they think we need constitutional amendments to control the private relationships of consenting adults, then we need to know what naughty things they do alone, with men and/or women, or with various farm animals.

Mother, Please!

The best one minute video you will ever see. Today, that is.

Tiny Tim's Great Balls

Colbert Commencement

There are so many challenges facing this next generation, and as they said earlier, you are up for these challenges. And I agree, except that I don’t think you are. I don’t know if you’re tough enough to handle this. You are the most cuddled generation in history. I belong to the last generation that did not have to be in a car seat. You had to be in car seats. I did not have to wear a helmet when I rode my bike. You do. You have to wear helmets when you go swimming, right? In case you bump your head against the side of the pool. Oh, by the way, I should have said, my speech today may contain some peanut products.

Whole speech here, but it's slow. It seems like they're such a small college that they can't handle the web traffic.

I Don't Give A Shit, Either

From here, an interesting bit that will be in Newsweek:

Though Bush himself has publicly embraced the amendment, he never seemed to care enough to press the matter. One of his old friends told NEWSWEEK that same-sex marriage barely registers on the president's moral radar. "I think it was purely political. I don't think he gives a s--t about it. He never talks about this stuff," said the friend, who requested anonymity to discuss his private conversations with Bush.

Here's a message to all the concerned conservative Christians out there: I know you and I don't agree on much of anything. You likely came to here when you googled "Jesus Christ" and this page came up because I frequently use the Lord's name in vain. But I hope we can both see here that Bush and Rove are using you like a $5 whore. And if that doesn't make you mad, know that dirty filthy liberals like me are laughing at you because of this.

Our President, George W. Bush, Takes a Firm Stance to Solve Our National Emergency: Ban Gay Weddings

War, death, destruction, global environmental crisis, rising gas prices, rising deficit and, the biggest emergency for Bush, falling presidential polls that show we'd rather have the Zombie Corpse of Nixon as President -- Bush is going to take his first step in correcting this by pushing for a constitutional amendment to keep gays from getting married.

Even the dumb-fuck Phelpsians have got to know that Bush and the Republicans are just desperately jerking chains and pushing buttons.

MeTube

I've just noticed that my favorites on YouTube has quite a few unique videos in a somewhat nauseating mix.

Eephing

You know... eephing.

The eccentric Southern tradition of "eephing" is best described as the hillbilly equivalent of the hip-hop human "beat box" vocal style -- a kind of hiccupping, rhythmic wheeze that started in rural Tennessee more than 100 years ago.

Raymond Scott

Michigan's Finest, Ted Nugent

"I supposedly shit in a bowl of whipped cream. God, I wish I had." This and other pearls of wisdom spew when Limey paper the Independent talks to the Whackmaster.