Masturbation Monday

A call to action calling for you to call your Senators -- if they support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage -- and ask them if they support masturbation, among other threats to traditional marriage.

MESSAGE: Hello, I'm calling to find out if the member of Congress supports traditional marriage? Can you tell me if he or she masturbates? Do you? What about sodomy, including analingus, cunnilingus and fellatio? Is the member willing to pledge that he/she has never, is not, and will never commit those acts? Has the member ever had sex before marriage? Have you? What about adultery and prostitution? Will they swear never to have been involved, and never to be involved, in either? Will the member promise never to divorce? And finally, if the member is married, do they have children, and if not, why not?

If they think we need constitutional amendments to control the private relationships of consenting adults, then we need to know what naughty things they do alone, with men and/or women, or with various farm animals.