Zombie Attack Readyness

Is Lansing ready for zombie attack? Really?

"We have been doing mock disasters and cross training for several years," said Lansing Police Lt. Bruce Ferguson.

"People can feel confident, if zombies start invading, we'll know how to close the streets. We can get chainsaws too.

"If a swarm comes in on I-496 westbound, we'll block off the exits so they miss the city."

Fools! Zombies swarm on foot, they zero-in on the sound and smell of living humans, they're not going to stick with the highway. "Brains! Urg, exit closed, go to Flint instead..." Fuck -- they'll likely be coming from Flint!