Hey

I'm in an undisclosed location in one of the Eastern states, toxic with salt and sugar and bourbon. Me, not the state -- thought the state is as well. They like their saurkraut here, and "whoopie pies" made by the Amish.

The question was asked today, "would you like pork chops for dinner?" I answered that I had converted to Islam, and so would not like any pork. Later it was demanded that I go to church this Xmas morn.

I'm sleeping in. Happy Whatever You Celebrate, Heathen.