Bat Guano's BraiN!

Woah there, Hoss!

2010-02-15T21:29:00.002-05:00

There's nothin' new here. If you want the real poop, which are all the free SwaG! radio programs you can shove in your ear-hole, go to Swagradio.org.

BIZARRO SwaGio!

2008-11-08T17:08:00.001-05:00

Since Bat Guano has been taking numerous Wednesday nights off to do whatever mysterious and certainly unwholesome things he does when alone, he was called into service twice to be the substitute host of Bizzaro Fantastico on Thursday nights. So instead of “regular” host Dirty Dub, listeners were disoriented by Dirty Guano. And the usual fine programing of beautiful and easy listening music became perverted. Go here to hear those two nights from Nov. and Oct. 2008 that shocked a nation, in convenient two-hour long chunks.

VOTE, YOU BASTARDS, VOTE!!!!!

2008-11-03T10:47:00.002-05:00

SwaG! HALLOWEEN!

2008-10-31T10:17:00.001-04:00

We shouldn’t have let Mr. Guano go on air in his condition. We’re still cleaning up the mess. Tisk, tisk. Such a mess.

Hear the events as they transpired on that fateful night. But! Do not listen if you are alone, have a heart condition, if young children are in the room, or if you have strong feelings toward:

Mental illness. Satanic powers. Murder. Ranting. Raving. Ritual blood-feasting. Don Knotts. Unnatural perversions. Cannibalism. Spike Jones. The dead. The undead. Black metal. Poisoning children’s candy. Edgar Winters. Taboo breakage. Inappropriate cackling. Puppets. Orgiastic goat slapping. Misuse of the public airwaves.

You've been warned. But still, you proceed...

oh no, it's GUANO

2008-10-23T12:22:00.002-04:00

This episode of SwaG! proves that host Bat Guano is just not right. Go here to get three hours of weird radio.

This episode is two weeks old. Guano has been taking time off to participate in undisclosed "therapy." He will capture the SwaG! Halloween Special and make it available for your festivities by the end of Oct. 30. Unless he's shot in the head when mistaken, understandably, for a rabid zombie.

Bat Guano's Fireside Chat

2008-10-08T19:41:00.001-04:00

Apparently Bat Guano had been having fever dreams about a coming economic collapse and the U.S. presidential election. And this SwaG! shows it.

But in these troubling times the people of the world find comfort in a soothing voice and beautiful music. SwaG!: Three hours of radio to help you pass the time on the breadlines. So go get you some.

Bat Guano Heralds the Long Emergency

2008-09-24T18:59:00.001-04:00

“Green Slime was about the greatest hour of radio ever tonight.”-- Kap’n Karl of rock combos Fortune and Maltese, The Sinatras and New Real People.

Since he had to, when driving to the studio, dodge flooded streets in a city that never sees such floods, and because of the collapse of America’s financial system, Mr. Guano took on an edge of paranoia in this broadcast. He proclaims that non-voters are “losers” and does a read-back of songs in overly dramatic fashion to James Bond music.

The first hour is a combination of abrasive and weirdly sweet, like pumice stones in pistachio pudding. Green Slime is entertaining with its set of doom and destruction and anger. The last hour starts off with banjo music and works up to KISS and Spike Jones.

Go here to get three hours of recorded broadcast radio.

This SwaG! is Dedicated to the Memory of Jackie Vernon

2008-09-04T09:44:00.001-04:00

We almost forgot to post this week’s SwaG! because nothing exciting happened during its broadcast.

Well, that’s not exactly true. A frequent caller to the program, who is often highly intoxicated judging from his slurring, called in an agitated state due to the fact he was listening to SwaG! and watching the Democratic National Convention at the same time. He called to curse incoherently our former president, William Jefferson Clinton, and his notable wife, Mrs. Clinton. He then pledged allegiance to the Weather Underground. We called Homeland Security (two weeks in a row!), and played the Art of Noise’s “A Time for Fear"...

There is a point to all this, maybe. Maybe it has to do with three hours of previously broadcasted radio.

Bat Guano Doesn't Like People

2008-08-25T14:25:00.001-04:00

Early Wednesday evening someone called the radio program and asked to hang out in the studio.

Bat Guano told them no. He doesn’t like people in the studio. He doesn’t like being around people much at all. You can tell he has a hard time with basic human interaction, from listening to the first hour. He begins SwaG! as a children’s show starting with the disturbing “Uncle Pockets” by Danny Kaye, about a creepy old man who tricks children into grabbing for “toys” in his trousers. He plays more music for “children,” but the first hour devolves until he’s got some blasphemous German -- Reverend Beat-Man -- croaking about the “Jesus Christ Twist.” We’re very surprised that he didn’t play any Gary Glitter...

Go here for three hours of previously broadcasted radio.

The Penetrators, "Shopping Bag"

2008-08-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

One of the greatest videos ever made. Our culture would be vastly different if MTV hadn't have rejected it.

The Penetrators formed in the mid-70s, got on the New Wave/Punk Rock train, and became the Kings of Basement Rock.

I just got a large chubby when I found that they have reunited, and will be doing a rare show in my town, Kalamazoo, Mich., Sept. 20, part of the UFO Dictator 4.

SwaG! Pays Tribute to the Olympics

2008-08-18T00:35:00.001-04:00

To pay tribute to the Olympics Bat Guano went into a jingoistic rant at the start of Green Slime. Then Sparks’ “Beat the Clock” begins what one might assume to be songs keeping to the theme of competition. It’s followed by Buckner and Garcia’s “Do the Donkey Kong,” about the sport of jumping pixelated barrels. Then the Barbarellatones’ “Corn Huskin’ Man,” about the sport of jacking off. Guano segues into a song about corn on the cob, and takes the gold in lack-of-focus. He manages to fit in both Perez Prado and the Butthole Surfers in the set. Such a feat hasn’t been seen since Mark Spitz teamed with the Palestinians to take Hitler hostage at the infamous 1936 Munich games.

You will find this and more in three hours of radio, broadcasted live from beautiful Kalamazoo, Mich., USA.

The perfect ad.

2008-08-16T11:07:00.002-04:00

Fun In The Fundus With You!

2008-08-12T15:03:00.000-04:00

Bat Guano seemed to be out to annoy people with this week’s SwaG!. From The Reverend Fred Lane to Negativland -- just awful sounds.

Why doesn't he just play good music? Like, he plays Negativland’s “Piece a Pie” from No Business. It goes on forever, and always -- always! -- makes some poor person call. “Is this about over?” they say, a mixture of pleading and anger in their voice....

Go see what this is all about, and hear three hours of radio.

Cowboy Time

2008-08-03T20:12:00.001-04:00

At the heart of this week’s SwaG! is the heart of a cowboy, riding on the range, free in his assless chaps.

Clicky clicky for further description and access to three hours of pure radio, artsy to fartsy.

Summer Fun, Child Safety and Astronauts With Bat Guano

2008-07-27T13:23:00.001-04:00

As Mr. Guano headed for his car to go to the radio station, he saw a childhood drama being played out at the end of his driveway. Not wanting to back over the children who refused to stop throwing crap at a little teddy bear they’d thrown into his tree, Mr. Guano decided to resolve the situation by climbing a wobbly ladder placed in the middle of the street and waving a huge heavy board in the air as the children scampered below (plus one other child on rollerblades waving two sharpened sticks around for balance)... Mr. Guano has this all recorded as part of the three-hour MP3 SwaG! action here.

A Day With Guano

2008-07-21T22:31:00.001-04:00

Two WIDR listeners got the chance to spend a day -- two hours in Guano time -- with Bat Guano for last week’s SwaG!. They got to say “hello” to their friends in Radio Land! They got to pick the music played on SwaG!! They made Mr. Guano die a little inside by making him play Bread!

They also had him play groovy music as well. Listen to the first two hours to hear the hijinx! Listen to the last hour to hear the usual crap Mr. Guano plays on every other SwaG!.

Maybe you would like to spend time with Mr. Guano...

Go see what the hell this is all about, and listen to three hours of Midwestern non-commercial freeform unprofessional radio.

Deviled Eggs and Ham

2008-07-16T12:50:00.000-04:00

Another SwaG! radio program download...

Bat Guano doesn’t seem to notice that SwaG! can be an uncomfortable mix of the artsy, the stupid, and the dark and evil.

Last week’s SwaG! broadcast, in the gooey center of Green Slime, had a heart of noir based around a track from the new Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and one from Gallon Drunk, a band that tried hard to be a more-rockin’ Bad Seeds. Then some guy wanted to hear Terminal Cheesecake., the British Butthole Surfers. Mr Guano had no TC, so he included BS in the mix, then went for dark ‘80s weirdness of Sonic Youth and Bongwater. And then the primitive Old Time Relijun. Captain Beefheart. Cheap Trick. Dictators. Ramones. Dogbowl. And jazz...

Continue here, where Mr. Guano talks to The Devil, and we finally give you the linx to the actual sound of the actual radio program.

SwaG! Broadcast at the Beginning of the End-Times

2008-07-07T20:58:00.000-04:00

Apologies for the lateness of the posting of the SwaG! broadcast of July 2, 2008. The power had been out. Because of the storm. The lightning. The winds. The floods.

Bat Guano gathered recordings in his private collection in the dim light that filtered through the devastation. The sound of the tinkling water flooding the basement caused him to pause.

“I should stay here to protect my home and my woman!” he declared.

“No! Your listeners, your station, your town need you!” his woman responded. “Go! And do your duty!”

Click here for the exciting conclusion and three hours of radio that may almost be as exciting.

Grab Bat Guano's Booty

2008-06-26T22:41:00.000-04:00

Here is your weekly SwaG!, the radio program of Bat Guano.

It began as the usual SwaG! for the first hour. And the Green Slime was without incident... and then Mr. Guano decided to comment on this story, “Recording Industry Decries AM-FM Broadcasting as ‘A Form of Piracy.’”

It would seem that the RIAA would like radio disk jockeys to stop playing music for free. You know -- promoting songs, giving artists exposure. It is a stunning reversal from their traditional practice of payola.

The Dr. (of the following program “Rock and/or Roll”) had to clean the mic off.

If you wish to hear Bat Guano rant, or just want to hear his unique mix of punk rock and ragtime hits, go here. You will also be tempted to steal (listen to, for free) the radio program, but don't do that.

I Am A Superstar Of International Proportions

2008-06-21T00:59:00.002-04:00

I, Bat Guano, have been recognized by the international web blog PCL LinkDump as worthy of being one of their bloggers. So I have blogged. Internationally.

New SwaG! site, recording

2008-06-19T20:24:00.000-04:00

The SwaG! web site re-imagining is taking shape. Featuring recordings of last night's radio broadcast, and bondage pictures. Click here to see the new SwaG! and things.

Stick SwaG! In Your noizePod!

2008-06-13T08:05:00.000-04:00

The Recorded Output of SwaG!, June 4, 2008:

Part one.

A listener sent us this photo during the first hour of SwaG!.

GREEN SLIME.

Green Slime paid tribute to the founding father of rock and roll.

Part three.

As always, we saved the very, very, very best for last in hour three.

Listen to it.

2008-06-05T23:10:00.000-04:00

SwaG! "podcast" of May 28.

Part one.

A surprisingly upbeat first hour, summery and surfy. Then we somehow end up playing Zappa's "Wonderful Wino:"

I went to the country
And while I was gone
I lost control of my body functions
On a roller-headed lady's front lawn
I'm so ashamed, but I'm a wino man
I can't help myself

GREEN SLIME.

We begin GREEN SLIME with George Jones, "The World's Worst Loser," in honor of Sen. Hillary Clinton. Then we rock out. And slide down some jazz hole. And end with very stupid songs. "I'm a drag strip bum-ba-bum-bum-bum!"

Part three.

We took a trip to foreign lands, but some guy wanted to hear The Crazy World of Arthur Brown's "Fire," so things took a turn. Somehow we ended with Brian Eno.

Bye, Bo

2008-06-02T13:50:00.003-04:00

Every type of raw hard-edged rock started with Diddley.

"Bo Diddley, who has died aged 79, was one of the most important influences in the development of popular music, even though for much of his career he was seldom in the charts or in the recording studio."

SwaG on the DL

2008-05-25T15:08:00.005-04:00

About time. After computer problems and bad shit getting in the way, we have a new SwaG! PODcasT! ready.

This is from April 30, the one I declared to be the worst SwaG! ever thanks to a horrifically bland jazz version of Rush's "Tom Sawyer."

Part one.

GREEN SLIME.

Part three.

UPDATE! Links wuz broke. Now they fixed.

Chocky

2008-05-22T12:22:00.001-04:00

These guys, the Barbarellatones, sent SwaG! a CD.

It may be SwaG! worthy.

Apologies, Entertainment

2008-05-04T21:29:00.002-04:00

I began the SwaG! PODcast!... and then my computer got sick. The recording of last Wednesday's SwaG! is in the computer. Once it gets fixed, we'll get it out. The computer might be fixed by this Wednesday. It might not. Life is full of entropy and chaos.

So here is some entertainment:

Indiana, We're Looking At You

2008-05-04T16:47:00.000-04:00

SwaG PODcastS!

2008-04-27T22:34:00.000-04:00

And now, SwaG!, brought to you through the infotechnological paradigm of the Internets!

WIDR is now broadcasting over the internets tubes, but what if you're not able to get to a computer on the exact time SwaG! is on? Fret no more. Below you can download or listen to an episode whenever you want, as long as it is the episode from April 23, 2008. Maybe more episodes will be recorded, it can happen.

Links and descriptions from the SwaG! website:

SwaG! Hour One: Here Mr. Guano starts off in a good mood, it having been a warm spring day. Hey kids, new Man Man, he teased, but then threw in some New Leviathan Oriental Foxtrot Orchestra. Then things got all gleeful loony tunes with Dogbowl. Frank Zappa swings things toward sardonic progressive rock, as Bat has a flash back to that dream where his ol' lady told him to get a job at a gas station. Then the Sparks song about dicking-around, which has nothing to do with penises, so it's FCC safe. Then some new band trying to sound like Queen or some such shit, and the new Dirtbombs. And some island hopping with Philippine lounge music, and tropical stuff. And, of course, punk rock.

SwaG! Hour Two: Otherwise known as Green Slime. In the "program within the program" Mr. Guano plays "The Most Unwanted Song," but refuses to say when he'll play it. The unwanted song is bookended by rare album cuts of Mason Williams, Can, Stereo Total, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Mo Tucker, Couch Flambeau, DEVO, Negativland, horrible cheezy '70s production music, and a mix of live Osmonds and live Paul Stanley of KISS doing his intros. The Osmonds are doing "Feelin' Allright" and Stanley is yelling, "ALLRIGHT! LISTEN! I WANT TO KNOW IF ANY OF YOU OUT THERE LIKE TO GET HIGH! LOTTA YOU PEOPLE TONIGHT GET ALL HHHHAAAIIIIIIGGGHHHH?!?" And that was the moment when Mr. Guano was pissing his pants, because he forgot the cardinal rule: What amuses him might not amuse the listener. But that shit really amuses him.

SwaG! Hour Three: The last hour of SwaG!, where Mr. Guano kills time. We open with the legendary "Squant" edition of the Crosley Bendix radio show from the Universal Media Netweb, then a bunch of hyper old punk rock, that evolves into cinematic music, Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra, and Coyle and Sharpe spreading the gospel of "Threeism." And Fred Lane. And a manly song about walking the world like a man. You gotta crack a smile to walk the world like a man. You got to stop a while and shake the hands of a man. And some punky glammy Elton Motello. And Bat Guano's famous closing remarks.

Damn Right We're Bitter

2008-04-12T14:59:00.003-04:00

Someone stop him. He's making too much sense.

"I'm a college dropout, and I can read the damn thing and figure it out."

Listen!

2008-04-10T13:13:00.001-04:00

You can now listen! To Bat Guano's SwaG! every Wednesday, 9 p.m. Eastern, or the rest of WIDR's programing at any time, on the WORLD WIDE WEBS once again! Go to WIDR and follow the instructions.

Muxtape

2008-03-28T12:39:00.000-04:00

My Muxtape, why don't you listen to it.

You Are SwaG!

2008-03-11T21:13:00.002-04:00

I am SwaG! We are all SwaG!

This is WIDR WEEK. We ask you to give, to show support. If you don't, we die. If you do, you are a mighty warrior in the culture wars!

Wednesday night, those who pledge $75 or more, will get a SwaG! CD ROM, stuffed full of things.

Here's an early gift, SwaG TV Ch. 5:

WIDR Dance Party!

2008-02-11T15:03:00.000-05:00

Saturday, February 16, Papa Pete’s (Burdick and Cedar)

The Mighty Narwhale! WIDR’s own Go Go Guerillas: Bat Guano, Richard Bowser, The Doctor and Dirty Dub! The dancing commences at 9 p.m.

Dance for WIDR, dance against the cold and cabin fever. Dance because you can! Don't forget to dress like a freak -- Bat Guano doesn't want to be the only one.

McCain! Catch the Fever!

2008-02-11T12:04:00.000-05:00

I'm Too Old To Be Posting All The Time

2008-01-22T19:28:00.000-05:00

From Young @ Heart, soon to be a film out somewhere.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho!

2007-12-21T18:11:00.000-05:00

Yeah.

2007-12-07T12:44:00.001-05:00

World-O-Morons

2007-11-27T14:05:00.000-05:00

I got the Pop-O-Pies Pop-O-Anthology because I needed to make sure I heard this song every day. Consider it the Bat Guano theme.

World-O-Morons
Joe Pop-O-Pie

Don't you know
that it's complicated.
And you're uptight, bummed out,
highly over-rated.

Don't you know
that your mind is broken.
And we think you're kinda groovy
and we think you're outspoken.

And you know
it's a cryin' shame,
why them Coca-Cola girls
ain't got no brains.

I'd like to love ya
'cause you love so deep.
I'm so excited
I could fall asleep.

Don't you know that this world is full of Morons, Morons.
I won't be happy till I find some cash to score on, to score on.

And don't ya know that your life is dull and borin', yeah it's borin'.
And if they called me I would probably just ignore 'em, ignore 'em.

And you know
that you'd like to taste it.
But you're feelin' kinda broke
and you can't afford to waste it.

You're so numb
that I can't believe it.
When it comes to ya baby,
I can take it or leave it.

I used to scream
and I used to shout.
I used to even know
what I was talkin' about.

I couldn't find
somethin' better to do,
so I
guess it's no big problem.

...OK let's go!

(bitchin' guitar solo)

You say you like it
but it's just baloney.
Man, I never met someone
so stupid and phony.

You say you'll do it
but it's soundin' shakey.
And we think you're kinda flakey.
And we think you're kinda flakey.

And you know
it's a cryin' shame,
why them Coca-Cola girls
ain't got no brains.
I'd like to love ya
but you're so darn lame.
And ain't it funny how ya
all look the same.

Don't you know that this world is full of morons, morons.
I won't be happy till I find some cash to score on, to score on.

And don't ya know that this life is dull and borin', yeah it's borin'.
And if they called me I would probably just ignore 'em, ignore 'em.

Headline says it all:

2007-11-27T12:23:00.000-05:00

Universal Music CEO Doug Morris Speaks, Recording Industry in Even Deeper Shit Than We Thought

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

"White meat. Dark meat. All will be carved"

Be warned that this is disturbing, and funny. Fake trailer from "Grindhouse." To set the mood for the holiday.

Be sure to tune into Bat Guano's SwaG! when Mr. Guano presents his famous Thanksgiving Day Eve program. This year, Bat gives you the bird!

A Great Moment in Hollywood History

2007-11-14T16:48:00.000-05:00

Here is the first film to marry sight and sound. 1925 - a Vaudevillian plays a duck.

From these sick sons o' bitches.

KICK THEIR ASS!!!!

2007-11-07T16:24:00.000-05:00

Real American hero going to kick some torturers' asses.

Mission of Burma in Kalamazoo Nov. 17

2007-11-07T12:05:00.000-05:00

They were one of the great loud edgy bands of the '80s along with Husker Du and the Minutemen. Now they're back, and they will play the State Theatre Nov. 17. And it's all for the station that played them way back when, WIDR. This is the Barking Tuna Festival's biggest act. Be there. For more info: WIDR.

No More Hits

2007-11-05T15:40:00.000-05:00

No more hit records. The music industry is dying.

One stark sign of the collapse is the new definition of a “hit.” In the old days—that is, seven years ago—an album would have to sell about 500,000 copies to reach No. 1. But Johnny Cash’s posthumous release last June reached the top of the Billboard charts after selling only 88,000 copies. In today’s highly fragmented market, hit records also have far less staying power than when albums such as Michael Jackson’s Thriller held the top spot for months at a time. “Almost every core operating principle in the recorded-music business has been shaken or challenged,” said Edgar Bronfman, chairman of Warner Music Group.

Sun Ra's Planet

2007-11-05T14:34:00.000-05:00

Opening of 1974 sci-fi blaxploitation jazz frea-out Sun Ra bio pic, Space is the Place.

It is a fitting ending for the second SwaG!TV! playlist. It's like TV, but smaller, more grainy, and more SwaG!.

Halloweenie SwaG!

2007-10-29T20:04:00.000-04:00

AAHHIIEEEEE!!!!!

Halloween SwaG! this Wednesday! 9 p.m. WIDR 89.1 FM, Kalamazoo. Hear Bat Guano become an inhuman monster! Well... even more so! Because it will be HALLOWEEN!!! oooooOOOOOOOEEEEEIIIAAAAEY!!!!!!

Zombie Attack Readyness

2007-10-24T14:24:00.000-04:00

Is Lansing ready for zombie attack? Really?

"We have been doing mock disasters and cross training for several years," said Lansing Police Lt. Bruce Ferguson.
"People can feel confident, if zombies start invading, we'll know how to close the streets. We can get chainsaws too.
"If a swarm comes in on I-496 westbound, we'll block off the exits so they miss the city."

Fools! Zombies swarm on foot, they zero-in on the sound and smell of living humans, they're not going to stick with the highway. "Brains! Urg, exit closed, go to Flint instead..." Fuck -- they'll likely be coming from Flint!

I Like Watching Things On Screens

2007-10-22T11:39:00.000-04:00

As our culture moves away from one of language to one of images, I find myself posting fewer and fewer words.

So, anyway. WTF?!? LOL!

So here is the latest SwaG!TV! playlist. It's cool, creepy, ooky and spooky. It says everything I cannot. Enjoy.

Again with the DEVO.

2007-10-08T15:59:00.000-04:00

The last, I think, DEVO video. Rarely seen since the estate of a dead rock musician did not want it sold via DVD. I bet the dead rock musician would've dug it.

More DEVO on TV, 1979

2007-09-24T12:32:00.000-04:00

Fast, tight and jumpy version of their version of "Secret Agent Man."

New Old DEVO

2007-09-24T12:25:00.000-04:00

Imagine turning on the TV in 1978 and seeing this.

Kim Fowley's 10 Commandments

2007-09-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

...for Rock'n'Roll success:

ONE
Believe in your own dreams.

TWO
When you've learnt your craft, keep your mouth shut.

THREE
Never give a straight answer to anybody - they'll use it to kill you.

FOUR
Upon having record success, keep your head and remember you're human.

FIVE
Remember you're not unique; your music can be duplicated overnight.

SIX
Nothing is permanent, except death and Texas - so make the money while you can, but don't let it take over.

SEVEN
Don't make records for your friends - make them to suit the audience, because they're the ones who need music.

EIGHT
Don't take yourself too seriously.

NINE
Remember there is more to life than the Speakeasy, dope, sex, long hair and trendy clothes.

TEN
Allow yourself to grow old gracefully, and read "Future Shock" at least once a day to understand why you can't be a phenomenon for ever.

From TWIGHLIGHTZONE! on which I've been finding a lot of Fowley info, among other things.

Kraftbrau Closing

2007-09-03T11:40:00.000-04:00

Sean Smith, why do you want to make Kalamazoo a bit more lame?

Bo Diddley Has Heart Attack

2007-08-29T11:54:00.000-04:00

Damn.

Bo is one of the creators of rock. See below.

1994...

2007-08-13T06:32:00.000-04:00

In 1994, Dick Cheney had it all figured out. Really, he did. No, I'm serious.

Of course, 9/11 changed everything. Except reality.

Right Wing Freaks Say: What We Need Is Another 9/11

2007-08-11T12:55:00.000-04:00

"Is there any doubt they are planning to hit us again? If it is to be, then let it be. It will take another attack on the homeland to quell the chattering of chipmunks and to restore America's righteous rage and singular purpose to prevail."

Boy, howdy, that would shut this chipmunk up alright. If only they'd hit us again, that would show me.

The Philadelphia Daily News' Stu Bykofsky deserves a hard kick in the nuts for every word of his piece quoted above that wishes for mass murder to rain down upon the chattering chipmunks. He deserves to be seen as an extremist voice from one paper. But the rest of the right wing authoritarian media is also picking up the patriotic cry of "Hit us again, Terrorists, and make those Libtard's love our new authoritarian homeland!"

Fox News' John Gibosn says, "I think it's going to take a lot of dead people to wake America up."

Fuck the Freedom Fuckers You Fucking Fucks

2007-08-03T13:51:00.000-04:00

Speaking Of...

2007-07-30T20:03:00.000-04:00

Tom Snyder, RIP

Why I Still Enjoy the Punk Rock

2007-07-28T12:35:00.000-04:00

Even though I'm old, I still find punk rock relevant.

I just got the Tom Snyder "Tomorrow" show punk rock interviews. A 1981 episode has Wendy O. Williams and the Plasmatics. Tom talks to her, says something like, "Why do you smash TV's at your concerts? Don't you realize that there are many out there who can barely afford a TV set?" How can you be so viciously wasteful, young lady?!?

Wendy says something like it's her statement against consumerism, etc. The usual. And then she blows up a car in Tom's studio.

So this comes to mind as I'm reading this from a story on how the Iraqi government is refusing to take over the projects we spent billions on, and we are just handing things that don't always work quite right anyway off to locals who haven't a clue what to do:

In one of the most recent cases, a $90 million project to overhaul two giant turbines at the Dora power plant in Baghdad failed after completion because employees at the plant did not know how to operate the turbines properly and the wrong fuel was used. The additional power is critically needed in Baghdad, where residents often have only a few hours of electricity a day.

Since March of 2003 we've been spreading freedom and defeating terrorists by creating a sick amount of waste. Tax dollars, lives, an entire country -- maybe two countries -- sucked into a black hole of stupid. That'll teach that Saddam and bin Laden.

So, as we stare into the void we created, and the void stares into us, it makes a hell of a lot sense to artistically (not terroristically - don't hurt people, people, and respect others' property) to blow shit up and make a lot of angry noise.

Bullshit Mountain

2007-07-27T11:36:00.000-04:00

The air gets thin up there...

The Daily Show, once again, provides excellent analysis. Their look at the latest Gonzales hearings is perfect.

Col. Bleep Save Us!

2007-07-26T18:10:00.000-04:00

The Futurans see Atomic Explosions on Planet Earth -- a sign of trouble!

Atomic Veteran

2007-07-26T12:16:00.000-04:00

What's it like being three miles from the largest above ground nuclear test in the US?

It's pretty fucked up, that's what it's like.

But What About The Cheese?

2007-07-26T08:59:00.000-04:00

The cheese!!! What about it?

Ectorific

2007-07-25T16:44:00.000-04:00

Tired of the usual "blogs"? Try Ectoplasmosis. Interesting, and just a slight touch bit sick and morbid.

The Dick And Me

2007-07-22T14:11:00.000-04:00

I need to further explore the options in getting a "radio program" facsimile of SwaG! on the web...

Always a great position to be in...

2007-07-16T07:07:00.000-04:00

Web Radio Standing on Gallows, Hangman Says 'Let's Talk'

New York Times Finally Calls it

2007-07-08T20:10:00.000-04:00

It is time for the United States to leave Iraq, without any more delay than the Pentagon needs to organize an orderly exit.
Like many Americans, we have put off that conclusion, waiting for a sign that President Bush was seriously trying to dig the United States out of the disaster he created by invading Iraq without sufficient cause, in the face of global opposition, and without a plan to stabilize the country afterward.
At first, we believed that after destroying Iraq’s government, army, police and economic structures, the United States was obliged to try to accomplish some of the goals Mr. Bush claimed to be pursuing, chiefly building a stable, unified Iraq. When it became clear that the president had neither the vision nor the means to do that, we argued against setting a withdrawal date while there was still some chance to mitigate the chaos that would most likely follow.
While Mr. Bush scorns deadlines, he kept promising breakthroughs — after elections, after a constitution, after sending in thousands more troops. But those milestones came and went without any progress toward a stable, democratic Iraq or a path for withdrawal. It is frighteningly clear that Mr. Bush’s plan is to stay the course as long as he is president and dump the mess on his successor. Whatever his cause was, it is lost.
The political leaders Washington has backed are incapable of putting national interests ahead of sectarian score settling. The security forces Washington has trained behave more like partisan militias. Additional military forces poured into the Baghdad region have failed to change anything....

Read on.

Try To Get This Image Out Of Your Head

2007-07-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

Fred Thompson was Nixon's personal Deep Throat.

This Summs It Up

2007-07-03T14:45:00.000-04:00

"Paris Hilton did more time than Scooter Libby."

No More Internet Radio

2007-06-30T11:49:00.000-04:00

Or, maybe you'll get some internet radio, from the deep-pocketed broadcasting corporations that can afford it. Smaller, more unique broadcasters will not be able to afford the new fees.

WIDR will likely have to take down our web stream, though there may be a possibility that, if we limit the traffic -- like, only allow ten streams at the same time or something like that -- then we could keep it up.

All these years in radio, playing stuff that no one would buy if they had never heard it on the radio, has me convinced that the benefits of unlimited free broadcast go toward the artists and the labels. It is free advertising -- what is it that the RIAA can not understand about this concept? If the listeners don't hear it, they won't buy it. The more people hear it, the more they buy it. (The other possibility has always been that the RIAA would like to control the music so that a manageable amount of Big Hit Makers are heard, and get the big hits, and so they don't have to deal with the thousands who sell just enough music to justify their existence. Too bad the days of the Big Hit Makers are done.)

Anyway, call your congress people. Click the thing below. And remember, you can always listen to WIDR and SwaG! on this thing called a radio, tuned to 89.1 on the FM dial, in the Kalamazoo, Mich., area.

UFO Dictators

2007-06-21T15:11:00.000-04:00

UFO Dictator show story, including a rare photograph that includes someone claiming to be me. Doesn't that paper do any fact checking?

The show is Saturday, Kraftbrau. As a disk jockey I will be sandwiched, or manwiched, between Violent Apathy and the Spits. Go to UFODictator.com for the details.

WHIT Power 102 FM!

2007-06-12T12:40:00.000-04:00

Radio add parody. I won't explain it. If you listen to "The FAT One" in the Kzoo area, you might not understand the joke. (I always wondered, is Chris Winters related to Johnny and Edgar, but with an added "s" for her radio handle?)

31 Smash Hits!

2007-06-11T18:10:00.000-04:00

If you download one album in your life, please make it this one: The Cool and Strange Thrift Store Compilation. It's free, and worth every penny.

Louis Jordan '60s Apperance

2007-06-06T13:27:00.001-04:00

Louis Jordan - Saturday Night Fish Fry
Uploaded by soulpatrol

Found through the swell I'm Learning to Share.

Why Do People Lie?

2007-06-03T15:21:00.000-04:00

Giant monster wild boar shot by 11-year-old boy with a pistol, actually morbidly obese pet pig. He was the subject of a hunt conveniently held inside a fenced enclosure. His name was Fred.

Verschärfte Vernehmung

2007-05-30T00:45:00.000-04:00

The enhanced interrogation techniques of Hitler's Gestapo.

Barbaric and most definitely contrary to the American form of justice. And that's why Bush is a Nazi.

No - save it. Bush is not as bad as Hitler. But he is a Nazi. Cheney, also.

SwaG! TV

2007-05-29T12:25:00.000-04:00

Have you watched SwaG! TV yet? New moving pictures, with sound and sometimes in color, gleaned from the finest content, almost every day!

The Truth

2007-05-26T12:39:00.001-04:00

Jerry

2007-05-17T13:57:00.000-04:00

I know, you've all been waiting for my comments on the death of the Reverend Jerry Falwell.

All I can say is, this is what the world was like before he began his rise.

Calm down excited skin with ? and the Mysterians

2007-05-01T17:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, this guy known only as ?, the Michigan freak who paved the way for Iggy, MC5, etc., will be at the Kraftbrau, Kalamazoo, Mich., May 5, with his original band. If you are not there, you are square, teddy bear.

Your Gift on this Fine Anniversary

2007-05-01T17:41:00.000-04:00

It's been four years. You've been such a devoted American. Guess what you get?

Picture from Americablog, idea for the werdz from here.

? and the Mysterians, Kraftbrau, May 5

2007-04-27T15:58:00.000-04:00

Benefit to help ?, since his house burned down in January. He lost everything, not insured. Come on out, it's gonna rock. Kraftbrau

Iggy Pop is Still Alive

2007-04-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

Michigan's finest. Has lived 60 years. All thanks to plenty of exercise, clean living and peanut butter.

Your Cat and You

2007-04-23T22:39:00.000-04:00

We haven't seen a good record cover site in a long time. Here's one.

Right On, Brother Hippie Lefty Moonbat!

2007-04-21T15:42:00.000-04:00

Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, "Stay the course."
Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America, not the damned Titanic. I'll give you a sound bite: Throw the bums out!

My rate of ranting on this blogthing has dropped in the past year, just because I'd be writing the above over and over, except with more profanity. But if I were Lee Iacocca, I could write a book of it and it would get published. We need more rich hippies like him.

Helter Stupid

2007-04-18T13:32:00.000-04:00

The basic story: Negativland had to cancel a tour for mundane reasons. But they sent a press release out that claimed they had been asked not to tour by the FBI when it was found that a murdering teen was a fan of theirs.

That wasn't the case, but the media took the bait. Because we all know that music drives people to do heinous acts. Negativland then used the experience to record "Helter Stupid."

So far, there's been no word on what the killer in Virginia listened to. But you know, in trying to explain the unexplainable and insane, the media will latch on to any simplistic, stupid, theory.

That Kind of a Robot

2007-04-13T15:00:00.000-04:00

Go here, listen to the recording of Vonnegut reading for the first time "Breakfast of Champions" to a crowd in 1970.

Or, learn how to toilet train your cat with Charles Mingus.

Vonnegut, RIP

2007-04-12T12:13:00.000-04:00

If you have never read his stuff, go get "Breakfast of Champions" and "Slaughterhouse-Five" and read them back-to-back.

An interview with Vonnegut in 2003.

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T19:27:00.000-04:00

Reasoned Discussion, FOX-Style!

2007-04-06T10:54:00.000-04:00

Maybe Bill should've thrown a chair at him.

Take It Easy

2007-04-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

Relax.

Walnuts!

2007-04-01T22:28:00.000-04:00

I used to like John McCain. Not that I wanted him to be President, but I thought back in early 2000 that if we were to have a Republican President, I would rather it be him an not that creepy stupid cokehead drydrunk fool we got now.

But the last tiny speck of respect for McCain is gone now. Today, to prove that it's safe to walk through a Bagdhad neighborhood, he did so, accompanied by “100 American soldiers, with three Blackhawk helicopters, and two Apache gunships overhead.” He also wore a bullet proof vest, but no helmet, because he's WALNUTS!

And then... "it didn't take the insurgents long to send their reply. Less then 30 minutes after McCain wrapped up, a barrage of half a dozen mortars peppered the boundaries of the Green Zone, where the senators held their press conference."

It's about the music, man.

2007-03-26T19:38:00.000-04:00

Man. I keep falling into the habit of posting on politics, even though I can't really add anything to the national debate other than a string of obscenities. Do you really need me to tell you that Barbara Bush is a stupid fucking cow? (Just began reading David Rakoff's "Don't Get Too Comfortable," his essay on becoming an American called our beloved First Lady of First Bush exactly that.)

So, anyway. Installed a pretend radio station above the Google ad bar. Press play, you'll hear some of SwaG!'s overplayed hits, plus some things I put in there on a whim. You know you can hear the real SwaG! on WIDR Wednesdays at 9 pm Eastern.

Tell it like it is.

2007-03-25T14:12:00.000-04:00

Traitors, liars, incompetent fuckups. I keep thinking "Manchurian Candidate," but Bush and Chaney got nowhere near any Communist forces in order to get brainwashed.

"Mistakes Were Made"

2007-03-14T20:03:00.000-04:00

"Mistakes were made." It was the great rebirth of the passive voice so beloved by English teachers everywhere. Mistakes were made, but no named human being made them. Perhaps they made themselves. We acknowledge the existence of mistakes but have no knowledge of how they got there.

Dubya had a '70s flashback today. I knew I'd heard that phrase before.

They Are Listening

2007-03-09T14:46:00.000-05:00

Again, here's more news about the government spying on your privates, with no oversight. FBI is abusing the few weak guidelines in the Patriot Act that's to keep them from going all-out Big Brother.

So... watch this:

A Herb Alpert Break

2007-03-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

You know you needed it.

Walnuts!

2007-03-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

I wondered why Wonkette kept calling him Walnuts!. He's running for President!

Iraq, Iran; al Qaeda, Bush

2007-02-25T17:28:00.000-05:00

For those trying to pay attention:

Saddam Hussain = Sunni

al Qaeda = Sunni

Saudi Arabia = Sunni

Iraqis who've killed the most US troops = Sunni

Iraqis who have been kinda sorta on our side = Shiite

Iraqis who have come out ahead, sorta, after the fall of Saddam = Shiite

Country that's happy their old enemy Saddam got hung = Iran

Iran = Shiite

New enemy in the next war = Iran?!?

It's all so confusing. Read about the many more twisted details in the latest Seymour Hersch New Yorker blockbuster. Is it hinting that a war with Iran would be a way for Bush to correct a seriously fucked-up fuck-up?

After the revolution of 1979 brought a religious government to power, the United States broke with Iran and cultivated closer relations with the leaders of Sunni Arab states such as Jordan, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia. That calculation became more complex after the September 11th attacks, especially with regard to the Saudis. Al Qaeda is Sunni, and many of its operatives came from extremist religious circles inside Saudi Arabia. Before the invasion of Iraq, in 2003, Administration officials, influenced by neoconservative ideologues, assumed that a Shiite government there could provide a pro-American balance to Sunni extremists, since Iraq’s Shiite majority had been oppressed under Saddam Hussein. They ignored warnings from the intelligence community about the ties between Iraqi Shiite leaders and Iran, where some had lived in exile for years. Now, to the distress of the White House, Iran has forged a close relationship with the Shiite-dominated government of Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki.